That Oh So Happy Face
by KimMi1
Summary: It's hard to admit when no one truely knows you, or cares that you exist. It's sad when the closest thing you have to a real friend is the person who beats you. Ryou angst.


That Oh-So-Happy Face  
By: KimMi  
  
They don't know me.  
  
They know the happy little face They know the part of you that's not real  
  
They think they do. They think they like me, but they don't. It's really depressing if you think about it. The people who're supposed to know you best only know what they want to know. The ones closest to you only embrace the part of you they want to see. They completely ignore that other side of you that's begging to come out.  
  
Put on a happy face That's what they want to see Put on the million dollar smile They don't know your misery  
  
When it's that little part of you that's the real you. Act like yourself, and they pretend you are the other you. So the true you gets locked away. It falls deeper and deeper into the depths of your mind until you can't find it anymore. You're stuck playing the part of the happy child.  
  
That oh-so-happy face is all they know Those pretty little eyes that light up with glee They can't see the tears that begin to gather They can't see that oh-so-happy face fall  
  
And it's time's like these when it hurts the most. When you're all alone with your thoughts. The part of you buried away begins to dig itself out. And when it finally gets to the top, it's gets buried yet again. It's times like these when you know they don't know you, because you don't know yourself.  
  
That happy face wants to crumble That happy face wants to fall That happy face wants to go Because that happy face That oh-so-happy little face Knows that it doesn't really belong  
  
And you begin to wonder, if it's really an act anymore? Is it acting when it comes naturally? Is it acting when it's all you know? You forget your other self, just like they've all forgotten you.  
  
Should that happy face fill with tears They wipe them away and go along They don't understand that those tears were real That they won't just go away The tears are what belong Not that happy little smile  
  
You know it's bad when your friends never dream of you. Yes, I know that sounds weird, but let me help you understand. Many of my friends have had dreams where those closest to them help them through times when they don't think they can go on. Each time the dreams hold those closest to them. Since the ones they've know from childhood, from the ones that had been with them for only three days. ... I'm never in those dreams. They see everyone but me. I've known them for over a year now. I've been with them through thick and thin. I've seen them fall, and helped catch them. We've laughed together, we've cried together, we've almost died together. Yet they never dream of me.  
  
And you look in the mirror one day You see that happy, smiling face But you don't know who it is You raise a hand to your cheek as the mirror does the same That happy, smiling face in the mirror is you  
  
I don't know why they don't accept me. I've been just as much a friend as everyone else. I never get any attention, unless He's causing trouble. I guess it doesn't bother me very much anymore. I'm used to being ignored. I just wish...  
  
That happy, smiling face in the mirror Oh it mocks you so Because deep down you know That smiling, oh-so-happy face It just isn't you  
  
I wish that they'd notice me. I often turn to Him for comfort. I guess you could call it being attention starved when you go to the evil one that hurts for comfort.  
  
You want that happy face to go away You want to see the real you But you can't You don't know who the real you is  
  
For every time He strikes me, for every time He sends me falling to the floor, it's me that He's hurting. It's not my friends, it's not some other person, it's me. ... I must really be starved if I yearn for that attention.  
  
You don't know how to go back You can't stop being happy You want to run away Only to find you're already running And don't know what else to do  
  
I wonder, do they really consider me a friend? I mean, they call me their friend, but do they really mean it? I've never been invited to the parties that they so frequently have. I've never been let in on any secret, unless it involves me.  
  
And when you stop running You fall and hit the ground You can't get back up And there's no one to help you No one to break your fall  
  
I guess, He's the closest thing that I have to a friend. He who yells and punches and kicks me for the hell of it. At least He knows me. He protects me. He knows when I'm acting. And He tells me I shouldn't. Then He hits me again. But at least He's noticing me.  
  
And your happy little smile starts to crack As teardrops begin to fall You clutch at the rain soaked grass And sob  
  
When He finishes with me, I'm a bloody, broken little mess. He merely carries me into another room, and covers all my wounds. He hurts me, but helps me. He tuts to me. "Fight back you weakling, or you'll never get stronger. Don't you understand why I hurt you? I want you to be stronger."  
  
The tears won't stop falling It's getting harder to breath All you want is some company Someone to tell you it'll be okay It doesn't matter that they'd be lying At least they'd be there  
  
And I cry. He wipes away the tears, just like the others would. But He doesn't do it like the others would. They just wipe away the tears, tell me that there's no need to cry, and expect me to smile again. He knows why I cry. But, for some reason, He doesn't tell me to stop. It's almost like He understands, that I need to cry. He understands that the tears come from the real me, the one hidden away.  
  
And they can't see you for you They only see what they want to see So you pick yourself up Put back on the smiling happy face Put it on tight so that it doesn't crack So you can show them what they want to see  
  
And He finishes. The phone rings, and He answers it. After a few snarls, He slams the phone down and comes to me. "It was the bloody bastard. Do you want to know what he asked?" I'm not sure I want to know. "He asked why you weren't at the get together today with the rest of your... friends." He spits. It's funny, almost. That 'bastard' is my friends' enemy. He was invited to one of their parties, and actually came. I didn't go though. It wasn't because I wasn't invited. It's because I didn't even know.  
  
And someone who you've barely met before Asks you why you smile so He knows it isn't real Knows that you can't really feel Are they blind to miss what this man can see? Are you naive to think that they know what he sees?  
  
And He helps me to my feet, taking me to my room. He lies me down, and tucks me in. I like moments like this. Moments where He actually shows he cares, for they are few and far between. Tomorrow it will be like nothing happened. He'll go on and beat me like he always does. But I won't care. Because I know that He does.  
  
And you go with that happy, little smile On your happy little face You know you're not acceppted You've come to terms with your place  
  
And He rubs my hand slightly, like He wants to tell me it'll be okay. But He doesn't. He doesn't want to tell me a lie. But I don't care. I want to hear the lies, because it's better then what I got.  
  
You'll keep on your happy, little smile On your oh-so-happy face You'll pretend the other you doesn't exist It's not that hard when you don't know him  
  
And I close my eyes, falling into a blissful sleep. I dream of my friends, like I wish they'd dream of me. I know that they don't. That even though they think they do, they don't care. They just see my little smile, and pat my head like a child. I'm not a person to them as much as a doll.  
  
But the other you is getting kinda lonely He doesn't like the dark you know And he wants to keep you company The oh-so-happy you Because he knows that you can't be anyone else So he'll just watch you go on your way  
  
A tear falls down my cheek as the warm arms of sleep surround me. I dream of the friends in a way they wish they were. To know me, and care about me. But it won't happen. They'd have to know the real me.  
  
And the real you falls back into the depths Of your imaginary dream He doesn't belong out there He doesn't belong with the smiling you So the smiling you goes on day to day With that oh-so-happy face It becomes a part of you A part I can't replace  
  
And they don't know the real me. But who does? Who truly knows the real Ryou Bakura?  
  
They know the happy little face They know the part of me that's not real  
  
Put on a happy face That's what they want to see Put on the million dollar smile They don't know your misery  
  
That oh-so-happy face is all they know Those pretty little eyes that light up with glee They can't see the tears that begin to gather They can't see that oh-so-happy face fall  
  
That happy face wants to crumble That happy face wants to fall That happy face wants to go Because that happy face That oh-so-happy little face Knows that it doesn't really belong  
  
Should that happy face fill with tears They wipe them off and go along They don't understand that those tears were real That they won't just go away That the tears belong Not that happy little smile  
  
And you look in the mirror one day You see that happy, smiling face You don't know who it is You raise a hand to your cheek as the mirror does the same That happy, smiling face in the mirror is you  
  
That happy, smiling face in the mirror Oh it mocks you so Because deep down you know That smiling, oh-so-happy face It just isn't you  
  
You want that happy face to go away You want to see the real you But you can't You don't know who the real you is  
  
You don't know how to go back You can't stop being happy You want to run away Only to find you're already running And don't know what else to do  
  
And when you stop running You fall and hit the ground You can't get back up And there's no one to help you No one to break your fall  
  
And your happy little smile starts to crack As teardrops begin to fall You clutch at the rain soaked grass And sob  
  
The tears won't stop falling It's getting harder to breath All you want is some company Someone to tell you it'll be okay It doesn't matter that they'd be lying At least they'd be there  
  
And they can't see you for you They only see what they want to see So you pick yourself up Put back on the smiling happy face Put it on tight so that it doesn't crack So you can show them what they want to see  
  
And someone who you've barely met before Asks me why you smile so He knows it isn't real Knows that you can't really feel Are they blind to miss what this man can see? Are you naive to think that they know what he sees?  
  
And you go with that happy, little smile On your happy little face You know you're not excepted You've come to terms with your place  
  
You'll keep my happy, little smile On your oh-so-happy face You'll pretend the other you doesn't exist It's not that hard when you don't know him  
  
But the other you is getting kinda lonely He doesn't like the dark you know And he wants to keep you company The oh-so-happy you Because he knows that you can't be anyone else So he'll just watch you go on your way.  
  
And the real you falls back into the depths Of your imaginary dream He doesn't belong out here He doesn't belong with the smiling you So the smiling you goes on day to day With that oh-so-happy face It becomes a part of you A part you can't replace  
  
A ficcy I wrote because no one pays any attention to little Ryou unless Bakura's creating chaos. He just needs some attention and a little lovin' care. 'He' is Bakura. The 'bastard' is Seto. Hints of Seto/Ryou or Bakura/Ryou if ya like. You're choice.  
  
No one knows the real me. 


End file.
